Today, Dani and Kyle borrowed our pickup to haul fencing material for their back yard. They asked if a storm came up, would I please put their car in the garage in case it hailed. Sure enough, it looked like weather might be moving in, so I drove their car into our garage. As I was driving it in, I thought, I need to be careful so I don't hit the step on that side of the garage like I did my son Bryan's car one night.
Our two boy's have never been "car junkies". Quite the opposite! In fact, Mark always said, that was one lesson he tried to teach them, to not waste their money on cars, that he might have drilled into them a little too much! Their vehicles were beyond old. They were dented in, broken down vehicles that somehow, miraculously, still ran. Bryan's was a 1992 Oldsmobile with over 250,000 miles on it, that he had purchased from his sister and brother-in-law for $200. Being one who never liked to spend ANY money, he drove it all through his college years and beyond. Finally, last year, at the age of twenty four, he broke down and bought himself a nice car. He was understandably very proud of it.
One night, I drove his car into town and when I came back, I drove it into the garage. Since it was parked on the opposite side that I park my pickup, I forgot about the step. I didn't feel a thing and got out and started watering my flowers in the yard. Bryan came out and sounding a little annoyed and a lot amazed asked, "Mom! Could you not feel that you were driving my car into the step?" I said, "No I didn't!" and went running in to defend my honor. When I got to the car, I just wanted to die! In fact I sat down with my head in my hands and started to cry because one entire half of the bottom of his bumper was caved in a good six to eight inches. He said, "It'll probably come out", but when he got in and backed it up, no, it didn't. The dent was still there and looked ten times worse. But instead of yelling and screaming and being mad, he came over and started comforting me, saying, "It's no big deal, it's just a car." Which made me feel even worse. He and his Dad were able to pop most of it back out, but it still left a crinkle. I felt horrible, but Bryan just kept assuring me, it was no big deal.
As I contemplated how kind he was being to me, I started seeing flashbacks from the past. I remembered how everyone was amazed that when we bought our pickup, the first trip it went on when we got back home, was a two hundred and forty mile round trip to a ballgame, driven by our two boys and some of their friends. At the time Bryan was a junior and Kyle was a sophomore. People couldn't believe that we let them take it. We told them that they were a lot more important to us than any vehicle. I then remembered how a couple years earlier, Bryan had borrowed our pickup, got caught in a storm, and compliments of hail, strong wind, and a huge tree branch it received over $6000 in damage. When he called to say what happened, one of the first things he said was, "Sorry about your pickup". We let him know without any doubt, that we couldn't care less about the pickup, we were just glad he was okay. Don't get me wrong, we definitely had a "this really sucks" feeling, but it in no way translated into mad feelings at him.
Now, not one part of me is going to take credit for this attitude. It has been through the gentle guidance and love of the Lord that we have learned what is important and what isn't. My poor older kids received tongue lashings that they never should have received because we were young and stupid. But, again, thanks to Jesus, they turned into wonderful adults that don't hold it against us and I am so very grateful for that. I know that Bryan responded to me, when I damaged something of his, the same way he had seen us respond earlier, to him. Several sayings came to mind, one of them - you reap what you sow! But mainly, I remembered a poem that I had seen that goes something like this:
If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child is ridiculed,
He will have no confidence.
If a child is shamed,
He will always feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He will be patient.
If a child lives with praise,
He will learn to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns to be just.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith. And.........
If a child lives with forgiveness,
He learns to forgive!
No comments:
Post a Comment