MERGE!

In my twenty's I could drive any piece of machinery on our farm including a four wheel drive tractor with a huge implement behind it all day long, working the ground up close to the telephone polls, never once hitting them.  I could drive a loaded wheat truck into the local elevator 10 times a day without batting an eye.  I once drove a four wheel drive pickup through snow drifts that the local farmers declared impossible to get through.  Once they realized I had to get through them in order to get my kindergartener off the bus and back home they did concede that the power of maternal instinct was with me!  BUT, the thought of driving in what I perceived to be "big city" traffic struck fear in my heart like nothing else.

 I was thirty one years old before I even attempted to drive in the  "city" which most of the nation refers to as a small town.  I wouldn't have even did it then if I hadn't been forced to by having to go to an ear specialist twice a week for a couple months.  The first couple times I bothered my sister to take me and she ever so kindly took off work to take me, but I soon realized I couldn't impose on her like this for the duration.  So, off I went to attempt the thing that frightened me more than anything else.  Once I got on the freeway, I was OK, but getting on to it required the worst thing imaginable - Merging!

Many times I would have my children with me and as we approached the exit, I would shut off the radio and say a prayer, my heart would start pounding, I would start holding my breath and tell all the kids to be perfectly quiet because Mom had to merge.  A total hush would come over the vehicle until we were on the four lane freeway.  The entire van would let out a collective sigh of relief when I gave the all clear signal.  I think the kids were in awe of their mother's amazing skills.  I can remember the more trips I made, the little less frightening it became.  I also remember looking at the other drivers and imagining them thinking - "Wow, look at that woman merging in all this traffic - she is good!"

I kept my reputation of amazing, traffic driving mother until daughter #1 started driving herself.  Then one by one, as they each grew up and became drivers themselves, I dropped from skillful driver to the biggest hick that ever walked - or rather, ever drove!  They still get a kick out of telling about their first time having to merge, breaking into a cold sweat thinking, "Oh Wow, this is it!  This is where I have to merge and I know it's tough - I hope I make it" then ten seconds later thinking "That was it?  THAT is what sent Mom into panic mode all those years?",  then laughing hysterically.

I have by now drove in "the city" enough that although I don't really like it, I can do it without danger of passing out from holding my breath.  So, I laugh with them at my former paranoia.  I'm just really grateful that I was forced to do it or I may be handicapped to this day, not able to drive on anything but country roadways.  I guess one could say God knew what he was doing when he gave me that horrible ear infection way back then.  He was just teaching me how to merge!