Fish Hook!

Do you ever have experiences happen to you that make you think "something like this would only happen to me!"  Seems like I have one of those about once a month or so, but today was a doozy!

It all started with a call from hubby dear, asking me to run into town and get him 20 gallons of hydraulic fluid.  Off I went to our local Co-op, went into the office and told the girl what I needed.  She told me it was located in the hay shed and told me where to go.  She said she would send someone out there as soon as they could to load it for me.  I drove around to the back of the building and even though no one is around, I jumped out and let the tailgate down.  The back of the pickup is full of stuff because this weekend we went to a nearby lake with all the kids and grandkids and I hadn't cleaned it all out yet.  I was in the process of moving stuff around so the jugs of oil would fit when I noticed a not very pleasant smell.  I lifted up the lid of an ice chest and sure enough, some meat was left in there.  Thinking that I need to get that out of there when I get home, I shut the lid and started to step away from the pickup when I felt something sharp go into my forearm.  Much to my horror I look down to see a big fish hook very deep in my arm.  I tug on it a little and that suddenly made me remember what they always say about fish hooks having barbs and that you have to push them the rest of the way through in order to get them out.  At that precise moment I knew without a doubt that what they say is absolutely 100% true!   I take a couple seconds to access the situation.  I have this hook deep in my arm, the hook is on a large pole that has two heavy ice chests on top of it, and I can't move.   I think a little, I cry a lot, I holler "can anybody help me",  but no one is there to hear.  Thankfully I had my cell phone, so I got it out of my pocket and try to decide who to call.  Mark is several miles away and I don't think I want to wait that long so I dial the Co-op's  office number.  It doesn't ring.  I try again and again and again.  I am in the bright sun and can hardly see the screen.  Finally I realized the stupid phone is froze up.  (I am sure anyone who has a Samsung phone knows what I am talking about)  So I wait and wait and wait for what seemed like hours.  Finally it starts working again, I made the call and with a very stressed weepy voice say "This is going to be the weirdest phone call you will ever receive, but I have a fish hook stuck in my arm and I can't move so could you please bring a scissors out and cut me free!"   She must have run like the dickens because she was there in no time flat, she and three guys all show up at the same time. I don't know if the three men just happened to show up to load my oil or if they all thought, "Man, I have got to see this!"  I did think one of them was going to pass out.  The sweet girl cut the fishing line which set me free and asked if I needed them to take me to the doctor.  Even though I couldn't stop crying, I felt fine and I said "No, I'm okay, I'm just mad it happened."  So I headed home, gave Mark his oil, showed him my boo-boo, and when he reached his hand out while looking at it I screamed "NO, don't touch it!"  He said, "Norma, I'm not going to but it's got to come out, let me take you to the hospital!"  I said "No, I'm fine, I'm going."  It took a little bit to convince him that I was alright and could drive myself but I finally did and headed back to town.

Feeling like a real idiot because I can't stop crying, they get me in immediately to the sound of my voice telling them "We have to deaden this, PLEASE tell me you are going to deaden this!!!!!!!!!!"  They told me of course they would deaden it so I felt better but still the tears flowed.  I told them I was sorry I was being such a wuss but they said if they had that in their arm they would be a wuss too.  The deadening shot hurt worse than the hook going in but I'm sure it made the removal a tremendous amount more bearable than it would have been without it.  Once the doctor said it was out I felt like a new person.  The nurse told me I did really good, that most men who come in to have one taken out usually pass out before it is done.  So maybe my endless river of tears wasn't so bad after all.

I guess that's one more thing I can cross off of life experiences - I can now say I have had to have a fish hook removed from my body.  I would like to leave you with a "The moral of this story is..............."  But since the only moral is so stinkin obvious I'm just going to go out and do it!  I'm heading out to finish cleaning out the pickup, get the stinky meat out of the ice chest, clean it and the others, remove the fishing poles, snap them in two, run over them with the truck several times, burn them in a very hot fire, and scatter the ashes into the wind!