Due to the "delicate" nature of the first tale, the name will be incognito to protect the guilty party, so I will lovingly refer to h_ _ as "it". I had stopped at our very small town grocery store for just a minute and left the kids in the vehicle as I went in. Yes, I know, huge no- no and I would never do it today no matter how small a town, but back then it was an accepted practice. Well, I ended up seeing someone I knew and started visiting. Probably 10 minutes had passed before I got back to the kids and was promptly met with "MOM!! So & So (who was probably about two and a half ) had to go #2 and we told it to wait but it hung it's hiney out the window and went on the ground." I said "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I promptly got out to look and nope, they weren't kidding. I then looked across the street to see a group of old farmers at the local implement company looking our way and laughing. With lightening speed, if I do say so myself, I got back into the Bronco and headed home, repeating to myself over and over again - "I will NEVER go back to that place as long as I live!!"
If the old farmers saw the above event, at least there was only a few of them. Our next adventure was witnessed by 500 people or more. It took place when youngest daughter Jamie was five or six. We drove about thirty miles to watch the high school basketball game between the town we lived in and the town I'd graduated from. Jamie was sure she'd be bored so she gathered up a few little things into a purse so she'd have something to play with during the game. The two towns have always been rivals and when we got there the only place we could find to sit was the front bleacher. The cheerleaders were cheering, the starters had been introduced, the crowd was on their feet, the two players who jump at the ball to start the game were hunched into position, the ref held up the ball and...........Jamie opens up her little Tupperware container of tiny translucent pink beads, dozens of them, and they go rolling across the gym floor. I gasp and stand up thinking how do I stop the game when thankfully one of the refs spotted the beads and blew the whistle. Jamie threw herself behind me sobbing, I had one arm around Jamie trying to console her, while holding the little container out towards the court with my other hand as the three referee's and the basketball players from both towns ran around looking for little pink beads on the floor. When they found one they would come and put them in the container I was holding. Once they were all found, one of the ref's, bless his heart, took the time to come over, sit down beside Jamie, pat her on the leg and say "It's okay honey, it's all part of the game". I don't think she heard him though, because she would not remove her head out from under my coat. The ref got up and they all took their positions again and got back to what they were doing five minutes earlier. At half time, one of my old classmates teased me about trying to sabotage the game, but I assured him that was much too high a price to pay to win a ballgame! My embarrassment was nothing compared to poor Jamie's. It mortified her so badly she wouldn't even let us mention it until she was a very OLD teenager. I just wonder what kind of situations her two little angels will get into that will make this childhood memory seem like small potatoes!
If the old farmers saw the above event, at least there was only a few of them. Our next adventure was witnessed by 500 people or more. It took place when youngest daughter Jamie was five or six. We drove about thirty miles to watch the high school basketball game between the town we lived in and the town I'd graduated from. Jamie was sure she'd be bored so she gathered up a few little things into a purse so she'd have something to play with during the game. The two towns have always been rivals and when we got there the only place we could find to sit was the front bleacher. The cheerleaders were cheering, the starters had been introduced, the crowd was on their feet, the two players who jump at the ball to start the game were hunched into position, the ref held up the ball and...........Jamie opens up her little Tupperware container of tiny translucent pink beads, dozens of them, and they go rolling across the gym floor. I gasp and stand up thinking how do I stop the game when thankfully one of the refs spotted the beads and blew the whistle. Jamie threw herself behind me sobbing, I had one arm around Jamie trying to console her, while holding the little container out towards the court with my other hand as the three referee's and the basketball players from both towns ran around looking for little pink beads on the floor. When they found one they would come and put them in the container I was holding. Once they were all found, one of the ref's, bless his heart, took the time to come over, sit down beside Jamie, pat her on the leg and say "It's okay honey, it's all part of the game". I don't think she heard him though, because she would not remove her head out from under my coat. The ref got up and they all took their positions again and got back to what they were doing five minutes earlier. At half time, one of my old classmates teased me about trying to sabotage the game, but I assured him that was much too high a price to pay to win a ballgame! My embarrassment was nothing compared to poor Jamie's. It mortified her so badly she wouldn't even let us mention it until she was a very OLD teenager. I just wonder what kind of situations her two little angels will get into that will make this childhood memory seem like small potatoes!
Thanks for the hysterical laugh! My oldest son did the #2 in the front flower bed one day when he was about 2 years old. That doesn't compare to your episode in the least!
ReplyDeleteAnd poor Jamie. But that is a funny story. And yes, she will pay her dues many times over with her sweet angels. Especially since they are part Crawford. ;-)